Hay, hay, hay!!!

After two years of raising goats for fun and to use up all that extra cash we don't have, my life partner finally decided to clean out the '95 corolla, and now what do we use to transport the hay to the 4-H ranch? Renting a truck or van adds quite a premium to the few bales we can get for our goats, and I think some of our friends think we are friends only to borrow their truck every few weeks. Plus, my mostly-sedentary lifestyle doesn't keep me fit enough to keep from hurting myself throwing those bales around. I would just order it, but they want you to order 60 bales at a time, and we aren't allotted that much space at the ranch.

In the community ranch where the goats live, there must be others who have this problem. We all have city jobs, and though some have SUVs and minivans, I have seen several family sedans with strange loads heading into the barns... I need to take the billy by the horns, reach out, and form a cooperative hay delivery plan! What do I have to lose?

Well, plenty, actually. I could be ridiculed, rebuffed, reminded that I'm not so great as I like to think when I'm not looking in the mirror. I might order and pay for hay, and have to return a bunch of it because it has gone bad. (That's happened already!) I may even find that even with a large number of ranch renters on my side, the city won't let me pile that much hay in the barn. I already know that with the construction going on around the ranch, they won't allow us to set up a special container to protect a large load of hay, and besides, that would add to my costs significantly. What to do?

Well, sometimes I'm adventurous to go out on the limb. So, I just got to start talking to people. The Hay Cooperative! That's what we need! "Don't you hate having to find time in your schedule to drive out to the feed store every couple of weeks for a few bales of hay? Wouldn't it be nice to have it delivered and stacked by hay-handling professionals? We might even get a cheaper price, especially if you factor in the gas and the value of your time and the cost of chiropractic and anti-inflammatory drugs." What could they say? "No, I like my bi-weekly pain in the back." "Hey, I like the excuse to burn more gasoline!" "But I'm sure my clients love the bits of alfalfa flying in their faces as we tour properties in my BMW!"

Maybe I should start with a feed vendor. The last time we had hay delivered, the venerable man running the feed store sold us several bales of rotting alfalfa. When we asked him to come see it, he vehemently denied that it could be a problem. Though he eventually came and took it all away, he went out of his way to make us feel like we were silly, oversensitive, green-eared goofs for daring to think badly of moldy bales. But Sarah Goodheart (not her real name), who has her own backyard ranch made up mostly of rescued 4-H auction animals, says her hay vendor is pretty dependable. Okay, I'm brave, let's give him a try.

My wife is hot to keep the hay out of her car, so she makes the first overtures. Great! Nice man. Could work out. Okay, I'll call him in several weeks when there is more room in the barn. But he doesn't return my calls. Days go by, with promises by his son to have him call me back, but no call, no message, nothing. What does this mean? "These old codgers are all alike! Hold all city folk in disdain. They think they are too good for us, just because have managed to keep their semi-rural livelihood going despite the California tendency to cover every possible space with asphalt and paving stones! They thumb their noses at us, as we struggle to keep a vestige of domesticated nature around us while we work our desk jobs, refine our client skills, type away all day on a computer keyboard..." Okay, calm down. So the guy doesn't call me back right away. I get busy sometimes, too. Give him a break. RING! Hey, it's him!

Great. So we have an understanding. Then I talk with the Ranch Manager, who gets special approval for my request to store overflow hay in the main aisle of the barn. Awesome! (The old barn has a hay loft, but that was abandoned to the barn owls years ago.) I even get the manager's hay purchase schedule, so I have an idea of who has been bringing in hay and who will need to do so soon.... Wicked! I'm feeling unstoppable now! Good time to send out the plan to everyone and her brother! And? Within 2 days, I have commitments from 10 families to buy into the cooperative! RADICAL!

The great cooperative hay purchase adventure begins!